My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
