What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
