she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
