Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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