now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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