We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
