Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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