FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
