I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
