I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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