Already got asked if we're dating
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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