my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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