Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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