Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
