their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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