I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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