I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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