I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize