I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
