There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
