ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize