I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
