Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
