I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
even my farts smell like vagina
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
