I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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