I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
