C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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