I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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