K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
