You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
