Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
