If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize