I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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