On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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