That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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