i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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