Non-Jews are for practice
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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