So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
