I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
