I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
