with your own penis?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
