Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
