i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
