I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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