I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
