So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
