So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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