Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He did a backflip because drugs
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
