Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
