I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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