I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
