I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
