He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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