Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
