Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize