I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
