i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
