69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
